Ever since my"best friend" (I am using the term loosely) invited me to use her new treadmill, I have become obsessed with my fat. See actual excerpt from email below:
morning gorgeous!
it was so good seeing you too!! been meaning to write to you since...
wanted to say, maybe you want to come over and use the treadmill in the a.m.
we could workout together...not that you need to, but with the wedding around
the corner, i'm sure you want to be in your ultimate fighting weight..no?? let's
discuss.
I immediately forwarded the email to Jules of Pancake and French fries, she has an advanced degree and I felt that she could better analyze this email than I could in my then hysterical state.
My concern was that this "best friend" might consider me getting chubby, in which case I would be very perturbed. I have a lot on my plate and chubby isn't supposed to be one of them.
Confession--to the naked eye I am slim, to my Fancy's fat calipers (yes, he has them and yes he's used them on me) I am basically ALL fat. I think 90% last time we checked, which caused him to make the comment:
"Wow, you are the fattest skinny person on earth.", Okay, he didn't use those exact words but I know he was thinking them.
My only problem with the fat is that I am lazy too. Not with work or cleaning my house but with anything that remotely has to do with any kind of physical exertion (besides breathing). I am the person that after a 10 hour plane trip sitting on my bum feels the need to sit down again at the baggage carousel.
I know this is a problem when my hot as 'h', Fancy is tragically obsessed with fitness. I don't know why I am so unmotivated in regards to this part of my life. If your body is a temple mine is the equivalent of the French fry oil vat at McDonald's. I am admitting it, I am kinda gross, a freak show, Java the Hut in skinny jeans. I think my bones have become subcutaneous fat tissue as well, I don't stand up I just jiggle down the street. I tell you this not to make you vomit in your mouth but because I think that being a few weeks before I tie the knot I should have some muscle to walk down the aisle, no?
